Today has been one year since Jerry died. I don’t like to revisit unpleasantness, but want to mark this day in some way for such a wonderful husband and father. His presence when he entered a life, or even a room, changed those who experienced him forever. I am lucky to have been the one closest to him, and am forever changed and strengthened because of it.
Last year when his ashes were delivered to me, my wonderful daughter came for support, and I suspected I might need her. We opened the door exactly at the allotted time to see a small box carried by Pee Wee Herman. Not really, of course, but the funeral home rep was small with cropped hair, pointy nose, mischievous eyes and a bow tie. Without sacrificing respect he carried out his duties in an upbeat manner. He even offered to help us see if the ashes would fit the favorite of two containers my friend Pat and I had purchased. It was close, but “Pee Wee” said he could usually “massage” these things into place. And he did. Surely Jerry had something to do with his delivery by the most perfect messenger. I put his card away in my Red Book of information and told Amy to be sure and call him personally when it is my time.
Maybe this is the time to post a poem I wrote this year and then back to living a life that takes all its parts in stride, including the ones that hurt.
Profound Pronouns
Must remember to say
I, not we
Me, not us
Mine, not ours
Was, not is
A N H I N G A 
Beda, you sound just like I did when the year was up.
It took me so long getting used to just being me I had
to look after…took long time. After 37 yrs. looking after
a diabetic and cooking right and too much food for my-
self.. I was so lucky sometimes , being in a convenient
place where nieces and others would happen by at lunch
time…always plenty.
Love,
Aunt Fayrene
This is so poignant, Beda. I’m sorry for your loss. I never knew.
As I am reading your words, I know the lump in my throat is nothing compared to the ache in your heart. You cherished each other, and you forever changed each other in ways none of us will ever truly know. That’s the miracle of love, and that’s why it hurts so much.
Love to you, you wonderful lady.
Beda,
I couldn’t have said it better than Tabby.
You were such a wonderful and loving couple.
Yes, Jerry was very special. We were privilaged to know him and have such good memories of him.
Thanks to all of you who have commented. It means a lot to me.
Yes, I still have Jerry’s fishing membership card in my desk and my scale in my tackle box, he loved hearing about my big catches. He was a funny guy, in fact this year you have taken on more of that humorous side! The two of you were made for each other – I know it must be hard, but the wonderful memories will carry you through — and you have lots and lots to draw from!
Love and hugs – Abbe
You would not believe the traits and tastes of Jerry’s that have slipped right into me. I always felt he completed me and maybe he still does.