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Archive for April, 2010

It never occurred to me that the picture opened more often than any other on my blog would be green polka dot shoes. Just when you think your funky tastes are totally unique. . .

I could have expected searches that relate to the person searching would be popular, such as:  number one song the day your were born and what your drink says about you. But how do you account for a strong caterpillar and gold crested gecko following? Many are looking for Jesus here, little Jesus to be exact.

None of the above searches scare me, but I hope the scores of guys in their mom’s basement looking for zombie lights stay right where they are.

Oh, why the title above? I’m no fool, just a hit whore who knows how to play the game.

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Dr. Ho noticed I was reading a Scientific American article about a scientist’s challenge to parts of Einstein’s theory.

“Did you hear,” he asked, suddenly excited, “just today Stephen Hawking, the astro-physicist, warned us not to try to contact aliens in space. He not only believes they exist, he believes they would come only to invade us and take resources. He also says there is not one universe, but many and some of those surely have life forms.”

Well that gave me something to think about while he poked needle after needle into my gums and sandpapered my teeth.

“How do you feel?” he asked when finished.

“Like my mouth was invaded by space aliens.” No. Really.

Next he squirted compound from a calking gun I swear came straight from Home Depot. It even had that new tile smell. Then he jams plastic stuff in my dead mouth and tells me to bite and hold. Stepping back, pointing two fingers to the heavens, he cautions me again not to speak, just listen. I thought oh no, my dentist is going to reveal he is ‘one of them,’ and I am powerless to even speak. Instead he continues to tell me details of Hawking’s announcement.

I can’t even say, “We’re screwed!” but I can think it – until aliens take over my brain.

.

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When new technology gets in the hands of the public there is no telling where it will lead. Case in point.

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I think I figured it out. Sexy, I mean. My intention was to rant about how the media—and everybody else – has sexed up everything, but then I had an epiphany. Sexy in many cases doesn’t mean pole dancing, slutty trollop. No. It is really a code word for feminine. Oh, they don’t mean it to be and probably are not even aware, but in many cases, I think that’s exactly what it is. Hear me out.

Do you watch “What Not to Wear?” or “How Do I Look”? They often ‘say’ they are showing the poor tomboy she needs to be more sexy, but is that what they really mean? The poor maligned woman doesn’t end up slutty; she ends up looking feminine. But for goodness sakes, we can’t say “feminine.” That would upset the whole struggle for equal pay and the right to wield a jack hammer. So we make her “sexy.”

Once in a while those shows get a woman who actually does dress slutty. What to do, what to do? What they do is show her “curves” but less of her skin. They know better than to take her all the way on the scale to tomboy or even too close to “classic.” All meet in the middle at—ta da — sexy.

I am still perturbed by the overuse of that term—you know—but now I know how to calm myself — besides the glass of wine. Every time they say “sexy” on those shows, I just shout over them, “FEMININE!”

I feel so much better.

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But my cats want iPad

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Are you the kind of friend who will talk me off a window ledge, or are you the one who yells, “Jump!”?  (Oh yeah, YOU try to punctuate that last sentence.) Anyway, as I was saying, here I am on the ledge, down below is an unproven, first edition of iPad, and I want you to help me make up my mind.

A few weeks ago few had seen the iPad, though rumors abounded. Even then I was snatching those trial balloons by the string and pulling them to examine. Well, now the newest tech creature is out there. I’ve held one in my hand, though it was wisely tethered to a strong desk in an Apple store. To my credit I didn’t hug it to my chest and suck my thumb right there, but almost.

So now you are thinking, well what’s her problem? She wants it badly; it might poke holes in her budget, but she wouldn’t eat cat food, so what’s the problem? The problem is I’m a practical girl. Objects should fill a need or at least beautify me or the house (extra points if it beautifies me). I’m not sure the iPad qualifies. This is my assessment.

First, why NOT?

  • I have a laptop.
  • I have a desktop.
  • I have books.
  • I have magazines
  • That pesky budget thing
  • iPad doesn’t have a phone
  • I don’t travel all that much

Second, WHY NOT?

  • So much easier to travel with than laptop
  • So much cooler than laptop (Think of modern cell & old mobile phone.)
  • So much lighter than laptop
  • Touch screen—Whoa Doggies!
  • Easy note pad & quick research at writers’ conferences
  • Cats won’t get in front of screen
  • Can read online magazines instead of germy ones at doctor’s office
  • Can update blog, twitter and Facebook anywhere (Why? I don’t know)
  • Can easily download and send pictures on the fly
  • I talk less than 10 minutes a month on my cell phone
  • I can watch movies, TV or listen to music while on treadmill

Probably the strongest argument for WHY NOT? Is the whole treadmill thingy. OK I don’t have a treadmill, but I’ve thought of getting one. The problem is without something to keep me from getting bored, we both know I won’t be using it. There is no room to keep a treadmill anywhere in the two rooms with TV’s. The guest room, though would be perfect, but it has no TV, no cable connection. You see where I’m going, don’t you.? Buy iPad, buy treadmill, work out regularly, lose weight, gain bone mass, strengthen heart, become hot babe with hot new tech device.

You can see I might not be objective. That’s why I need your help. What do you say? Jump or Don’t Jump? I’d like your comments as well as votes.

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