Posts Tagged ‘campaign’

So Obama is using text messaging to announce his VP in order to showcase his technological superiority over his opponent. Clever. Now if I were running McCain’s campaign, this is what I would tell him. “Listen, you Luddite, you have lost the technological battle. That’s a remote, not a Blackberry. Put it down. We are going with your strongest quality, your wicked sense of humor.”


Then the day before the Republican Convention McCain would announce his vice president via CB radio. “Hello, my friends. I mean good buddies. Riding shotgun with me on this journey will be **squawk squawk**. See you at the polls. 10-4, over and out.”

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Here’s how we busy citizens choose our president. First we read all the campaign slogans, talking points, the carefully crafted persona of each candidate. Then we see a Photo Shopped picture of each candidate exactly as supporters want us to see him/her. That is how it has worked in the past, but not in your future. In your future you will go to the next step — scratch and sniff. All the usual image polishing, patriotic, left or right leaning literature will dominate the presidential hopeful’s brochure, but there will be an added feature. So you’ll scratch and sniff anywhere on the print and a –shall we say—more natural, organic, quite often unpleasant fragrance will sting your nose with it’s truth. It will be like a clamorous buzzer going off or the scream of TILT TILT from the pinball machine – if the candidate calls for it.

There will be nothing candidates can do about this. Truth Ink will be mandated by a law passed while the whole Congress is operating under a vaporous fog blowing from vents of the Capitol. The vapor deemed WillOpeople will cause havoc, at least until a substance called WillOlobby is created. Then we’ll be back to where we are, but it will have been a wonderful ride to look back on with nostalgia.

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