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Posts Tagged ‘chocolate’

The alienated at Valentines Day are immediately thought to be those without partners. Right? Well, that’s only half the picture. If you don’t salivate at the word “chocolate”, you are on the outs on the biggest lovers’ day of the year. You could have a dozen  lovers lauding you with gifts, but if you aren’t into chocolate, you are just not “in.”

 I feel someone has speared me with a toothpick and held me under cascading chocolate sauce spilling over a gurgling fountain. I can’t escape the barrage of advertising and recipes, approaching Valentine’s Day. “Chocolate Crusted Sea Scallops?”P-l-e-a-s-e! Until I read today’s food section in the paper I had been craving scallops. The thought of them crusted with chocolate was enough to explode that dream.

  Vanilla people cannot escape in a country of women who fuel their energy and sex drive with chocolate. In the past, these addicts harbored a bit of guilt as they indulged in their Devil’s Food cake and Dove Bars. No more. Now they remind everyone of the health benefits to their cholesterol levels. I’m happy for them. I really am. I’m just sick of hearing about their damn CHOCOLATE.  Chew it with your calcium mixed in, rub it into your thighs, slather it on your belly. I don’t care. Just do it behind closed doors as you used to do. Some of us are so sick of chocolate we want to puke.

 I’ll just celebrate Vanillatine’s Day, thank you very much.

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Like belly button lint, I have no idea how these thoughts collected, but this is cleaning day.

The sound of a word doesn’t always reflect its meaning.  Mildew was always said softly, lovingly by an old friend. She liked the way it rolled off her tongue and thought the unfortunate connotation a shame. I think of her when I hear light, sweet crude. But fun words are my favorites.  Is there a more entertaining word to say than  onomatopoeia? And then there’s tarmac and rejigger, which is probably not a word, but says a lot. Isn’t that what words are supposed to do?

Did you ever run into an old acquaintance in the grocery aisle and you greet each other like long lost friends.?Then you don’t know what to do when you meet again and again on subsequent aisles?

I heard a good term the other day, linguistic barrios, describing areas where a language other than the host country is spoken.

Do you know some people who have standards so high only they can meet them?

We have a new navigator with choices for (a) most toll road use (b) shortest route (c) fastest route. No where can I choose (d) all right turns.

I’m waiting for someone to invent a motorized treadmill. It would putz around allowing you to enjoy the neighborhood sites while you worked out. Don’t laugh. My husband is working on a helium bra.

What is with those high-rise desks school boards, councilmen, etc. sit behind? Do they think they look like Abe Lincoln up there? We know the intent is to intimidate; we just don’t like it. I’m giving judges a pass. They represent the law while those other jokers popping out of a Jack in the Box represent you and me. Come on down!

I’d like all the personal-habit nannies out there to lay off. If I saved all the money I spend on lattes each year and invested it at 5% at the end of the year I’d have — zero. And while we’re at it, the number of calories I’d save by skipping the chocolate each day is –what do we have here?—zero again.

Gerontocracy is another favorite word, meaning, of course, government based on rule by elders. I understand France is fast becoming just that. They do seem to be thinking more rationally lately.

This from Neal Boortz: How do you have a fire museum? Doesn’t the fire go out? Maybe it’s an “old flames” exhibit.

Two South American brothers are the last  people on earth who speak a dying language, and they don’t like each other and don’t speak. I am guessing we won’t have to “press 3” for that language.

Would someone tell our Persian Emma she is supposed to let us sleep? It’s professional courtesy.

“The windows throbbed,” the young man said, describing the tornado. I don’t know about you, but I like that. Colorful descriptions by witnesses are rare, but worth listening for.

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