Honest Scrap – Trust Me

Amurin over at Stop & Wander tagged me with an Honest Scrap award. I am honored. Of course, maybe I fooled her. Maybe I am really a deranged young man living in a cabin in the north woods, accumulating fertilizer and poetry, and bumping into Bigfoot every once in a while. Ah well. Here goes.

When you get the Honest Scrap award for your honest crap, you are meant to grace your readers with 10 honest things about yourself, and then pass on the award to other blog friends who write honestly and truly about themselves and events in their life.

At this point the blank white screen is imprinting itself on my brain, but I’ll try.

1. In my family honesty was the Holy Grail. Lies were not permitted and the word “liar” hurled at anyone or even spoken quietly evoked a stern look or smack. There was nothing worse you could say of a person.
2. It is unbelievably freeing to no longer be a sex symbol.  Just a hint to the C.I.A.: In my invisible woman phase I could be unfailingly helpful to you. Just sayin.
3. I’m not a one-friend person, always ran in groups (not cliques, we weren’t that important) in school.
4. When a child, I hoarded all my nickels and pennies and counted them over and over, loving the sound of them flowing back and forth from one hand to the other. I still try to keep most in my hands.
5. In school avoided reading and science. As an adult read constantly and am fascinated by science. What happened to “as the twig is bent, so grows the tree?”
6. My grands are the most amazing four people on the planet, followed closely by their parents plus two, my daughter and her husband.
7. I can live without a lot of things, but not cats. (Well maybe this one blocking the computer screen.)
8. I love, love, love guns. So shoot me.
9. My motto is: Old is not a four-letter word. Senior is what I was in high school.
10. But I refuse to wear “granny panties.” If bikinis were good enough for my pregnant body, they are good enough now.

Now watch out! I’m getting ready to tag someone, and it’s: Corina @Wasted Days and Wasted Nights, C\hele, OmbudsBen, & anyone else who would like to join in.

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7 Deadly Sins and the Lie

LeaKelley sent this challenge my way.  I will not tag anyone, but invite all who would like to have a little fun to play along.  This is how it goes:

Sometimes you can learn more about a person by what they don’t tell you.

Sometimes you can learn a lot from the things they just make up.

If you are tagged with this Meme, lie to me.

 

Then tag  7 other folks (one for each deadly sin) and hope they can lie.

 

Pride

What is your biggest contribution to the world?

I delivered seven babies all fathered by different men at one wild party. Yes, I am the Septomom. I also invented 6-UP.

 

Envy

What do your coworkers have that you wish was yours? 

Bigger Social Security checks.  Just because they got degrees and sold their soul to a corporation for a fat salary they are reaping more in entitlement benefits. It’s not fair. So I farted away a bright mind smoking dope, raising hell and pushing fries? Should I receive less now that I’m a pathetic elder? Have a little respect. And while you are at it, screw the next generations, give us oldsters what we’ve got coming to us.

.

Gluttony 

What did you eat last night?

Ding Dongs and doughnuts. What are you gonna do, call the Health Police?

 

Lust

What really lights your fire?

Macho guys with open collars and gold link chains, the more jewelry the merrier. Oh man, I get chills just thinking about one approaching me.

 

Anger 

What is the last thing that pissed you off?

The stupid clerk who accused me of switching barcodes on the wide-screen TV that rang up $16.97. If she’s so bright, why is she standing at a cash register all day?

 

Greed 

Name something you hoard and keep from others.

Words, all the good ones without which those stinking novelists would never be able to make a living. Soon I’ll have all the best. Then we’ll see who the publishers come crawling to.

 

Sloth

What’s the laziest thing you ever did?

I sleep on a made up bed every night without moving so I don’t have to make it in the morning. Gets a bit cold in the winter.

 

Okay, Your turn.

I know you’re clever.

Lie to Meme!

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Things I’ve Done

Here’s a fun meme I found at onehandclapping. The things I have done are in bold. I am beginning to think I have led a sheltered life, certainly not very bold. What about you?

Enjoy  and consider yourself tagged if you are so inclined!

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band (clarinet)
4. Visited Hawaii

5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland (I’m counting DisneyWorld.)

8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo (I don’t sing)

11. Bungee jumped (never, ever ever…. )
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child (2)
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train

21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon (I’ve thought about it, but that would require being able to say run))
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice (seen them, didn’t ride)
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset

31. Hit a home run.
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language (poco)
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied.
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David

41. Sung karaoke. (not well)
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa (I’d like to…)
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris

51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class.
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen

61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies (Not sold when I was GS)
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial

71. Eaten caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades (if Alligator Alley counts)
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone.
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book (in process here)

81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating.
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life.
90. Sat on a jury

91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a mobile phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Read an entire book in one day

 

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7 Random Facts

 

 

This is my first meme. Really. Always learning something from Amurin. I’ll send to a short list while I’m on a trial run.

Here are the rules, such as they are: Players start with 7 random facts about themselves. Those who are tagged should post these rules and then post 7 random facts. Players should tag 7 other people and notify them they have been tagged.

 

 

 

1.   In the fourth grade I wrote my first short story. Prominent in it was a rattlesnake. I once had a rat snake under my reading chair for two days, received a gift of a black racer in a bag from my husband, video taped one swallowing a green garden snake. Then there are the steamy photos I took of rat snakes mating on the fence. They have a habit of falling out of trees with a splat when enraptured or fighting. You learn to look up as well as down in a converted swamp. 

 

    2. My proudest recent accomplishment is learning to operate a single

        lever faucet.

 

3.     I still have older friends, but they are REALLY old, including a 92-year-old writer. The “young ones” are unrepentant hippies for the most part, and bikers.

 

 

4.     Beside my husband and children, cats are the most important creatures on earth. My father had an aversion to them, so my first came when I was thirty. Since that day we have not been without purrs and hairballs—and mystery.

.

5.     We once had a sailboat business on Lake Monroe and later, a  business doing drug, alcohol and DNA testing.  Mostly “Who’s your daddy?” situations.

 

6.     I was six years old, and could hear the doctor give orders to start cutting out my appendix and the nurse saying I was not under, but could not move or speak. Next thing I knew it was over and Mother was moving me to another hospital. Dr. Frankenstein had used my upset stomach as an opportunity to try the new thread he invented. You don’t want to see how much it really didn’t improve on the current stitches.

 

7.     A young derelict tried to hijack me once, but really pissed me off when he flashed that knife. I drove off.

 

 

 

 

 

http://backyarddetour.blogspot.com/

 

 

 

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